Wednesday, September 21, 2011

James Lipton's "INSIDE THE WARRIORS STUDIO": Kharne the Betrayer



I would like to welcome you to a new feature here on Commorragh, "Inside the Warrior's Studio".




In the same vein as James Lipton's show, we will be interveiwing some of the most radient personalities from the 40k universe. Today we've braved the perils of Warp Space to bring you none other than a defining personality from the World Eaters, a champion from before the days of the Horus Heresy, the former personal equerry to Angron, the Betrayer of Skalathrax, Scourge of the 13 Black Crusade. His death toll has been felt across all of the known galaxy. Today, I'm happy to say....that this gentleman is here today to take just a few minutes out of his busy schedule to answer a few questions for us"Inside the Warrior's Studio" is proud...and priviledged to bring you the Murderous, the Heinous, the Avatar of Khorne himself.... Kharn the Betrayer.


DS-Thank you for coming here today Kharn. I'm delighted that you in all your generocity have decided to join us here on this, the very first edition of "Inside the Warrior's Studio". In the tradition of Mr. Lipton, I've taken down some of his typical interveiw questions and, at your discretion, will be asking them of you so that your fans out there may better know the real 'you', and maybe understand how a warrior such as yourself might accomplish such great feats as you have over your career. Well know...lets get started, shall we?


First, just to break the ice, perhaps we could start with an amusing anecdote from you? Perhaps something that happened just to give a 'feel' to your audience of "Who is Kharn? What is he all about?"


Kharn-AAAARRRRAAAGGHGHHH!!!! *smashes Gorechild down on coffee table splintering it to bits* MURDER! SLAY! AAARRRRAAAGHHHH!


DS-Hahahaha, oh how delightful. With that wonderful start, let us begin the actual questionaire shall we....oh, yes, hahaha, most delightful.


Now, if I were to ask you, "What is your favorite word?" what would you say? What is Kharn the Betrayers favorite word?


Kharn-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!


DS-Ahhh, of course. I could've guessed....and your least favorite?


Kharn-RRRRAAAAGGGHHHHHAAAGGGHH!!!!!


DS-Kharn my friend you are such a delight! Wonderful. Tell me, and your millions of loving fans out there, what turns Kharn the Betrayer 'on' creatively, spiritually and emotionally?


Kharn-BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OF KHORNE!!!!


DS-Of course, of course. To further that point, what would you say, turns you 'off'?


Kharn-DEATH!!! DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR OF MANKIND!!! AAARRAARHHHHHGGG!!!


DS-...and what other answer to that question could there possibly be I ask you? Indeed my friend, indeed. Kharn, now I find myself wanting to ask, what is your favorite curse word? When you're feeling upset about something, what do you find yourself wanting to state to the world?


Kharn-KILLMAIMBURNKILLMAIMBURN!!!!!


DS-I see. I feel like saying that myself at times. Most understandable and appropriate. Now, if you were to choose a sound or noise that you love, such as a beautiful melody or the sound of running water...what would that sound be? What is your favorite sound?


Kharn- *hoists Gorechild above his head depressing the activation rune. Gorechild roars to life*


DS- Ahh, yes, a beautiful sound indeed. I can see where that would be most relaxing. What about your least favorite sound my good sir?


Kharn-*releases the activation rune....silence fills the room*


DS- Interesting, interesting. Not a favorite of my own either I must add. Now, for our next question, let us assume that you've decided to give up reaving and slaying. Silly, I agree, but indulge me. Now, you've given it up, what does Kharn do now? Where does he go? What would you do with your life?


Kharn- Yes, I've ofttimes explored that question myself Deadshane. In all honesty, I beleive my endeavors would lead me to pure philosophy and tasking myself with simply exploring the mind and thought itself. Regardless, I would definatly take it easy for much of my remaining time, that is for certain. Who was it? I beleive it was either Plato or O'Conner who stated "It is not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised, the mosquito is swatted." Hahaha, oh yes indeed. Yes indeed.


DS- Hohoho, yes, how delightful you are. I'm insane with delight! Let us continue shall we? With that said, what profession would you NOT care to do? What profession would you avoid?


Kharn- DIE!!!!! BURN!!!!! *Kharn draws his plasma pistol and blasts a waiter out in the audience as he serves a drink. The waiter vaporises instantly but not before he has time to scream in searing pain from the explosive blast of sunfire* KILLKILLKILLKILL!!!!!!


DS- One can hardly be blamed for wanting to avoid the service industry, this is for certain. Now my friend, as a final question to conclude this interveiw where you have been such a gracious guest. Please, tell us what would you like to hear God say as you arrive at the pearly gates?


Kharn-AAARRRAAGGGHHHH!!!!! *Kharn goes berserk and begins to destroy the studio and everything that gets close enough to him to be slain* KILL!!!! SLAY!!!! BURN!!! MAIM!!! KILL!!! RRRAAAAGGGGHHHHAAAGGGHHH!!!!


DS- Thank you my dear friend, thank you. That will conclude tonights show of "Inside the Warrior's Studio" My most heartfelt thank-you's go out to Kharn for taking the time out of his busy schedule of World Eating to come here and share with us that which makes him so very special. A loved character of the 41st millenium. We all wish him the best of luck in all of his future endeavors...wherever that may take him. Thank you Kharn.


Kharn-RAAAGGHHHHHKILLMAIMBURNKILLMAIMBURNKILLMAIMBURN!!!!

AAARRRAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!







4 comments:

  1. LOL! TOO FUNNY! My friend told me about this site and I love it! Keep up the good work!

    Oh and I like dakka...sorry. haha.

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  2. That was cool. You have to do some more now. -Hivemind

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  3. Lol.. The title alone was all I needed to see and I was like.. Ohhh such glory!

    When life gives you lemons...
    Blood for the Blood God!

    ~Lackeylsk

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  4. You're dumb Shane!

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